Butter vs Met Through Friends

Pricing

Butter is priced at Free (Free to use; you cover any activity costs), while Met Through Friends comes in at $$ (Ticketed events; pricing varies by event (sold via external ticketing)).

Format & matching

Butter uses groups of Varies, compared to Met Through Friends’s 60+ per event, and both use manual / self-select matching.

How they work

Butter: Download the app and create a profile. Browse plans others have posted — anything from dinner parties to run clubs to coffee catch-ups — or host your own by setting the activity, time, and location. When someone wants to join your plan, they send a request and you decide who to accept. Show up, do the thing, and meet people who are genuinely into the same stuff. After the plan, you can stay connected through the app or just show up to the next one.

Met Through Friends: Head to the Met Through Friends website and browse upcoming events in your city. Each event is a Plus-One Party — the catch is you have to bring a single friend of the orientation you're interested in dating. Buy tickets through their external ticketing platform and show up with your plus-one. The events are held at curated NYC and DC venues with facilitated social activities like backgammon nights and themed mixers. Because everyone was brought by a friend, there's built-in accountability and trust — no random strangers off a dating app.

What to love

Butter: You choose the activity, so every meetup is something you actually want to do. Host-picks-guests model means more intentional, higher-quality connections. Alcohol-free plans are a first-class option, not an afterthought. Free to use with no subscription paywall. Covers a wide range of activities beyond just dining.

Met Through Friends: The bring-a-friend requirement creates built-in social accountability and trust. No app download required — just buy a ticket on the website and show up. Events are curated with real activities, not just standing around a bar. Gender and orientation inclusive, including dedicated Sapphic events. Founded by a certified dating coach who actually understands the NYC singles scene.

Reality check

Butter: Currently limited to Melbourne — most people can't use it yet. Only four screenshots on the listing, so the app experience is a bit opaque. Success depends heavily on local user density and active hosts. No algorithmic matching — you have to browse and self-select.

Met Through Friends: Currently limited to NYC and DC — not available in most cities. You need a single friend to bring, which is a real barrier if your friends are all coupled up. No matching algorithm — you're on your own once you're at the event. Ticket pricing and event details aren't always transparent on the website.

Søren's take

On Butter: Butter is doing something refreshingly different: instead of matching you with strangers and hoping for the best, it lets you build plans and invite people into them. The host-selects-guests model gives you real agency, and the focus on alcohol-free and activity-based plans feels genuinely modern. The catch is that it's Melbourne-only for now, so unless you're there, you're on a waitlist. If you are in Melbourne and tired of apps that promise connection but deliver small talk, Butter is worth a serious look.

On Met Through Friends: Met Through Friends is built on the most time-tested dating strategy there is: getting set up through people you trust. The plus-one requirement is the secret sauce — it filters out randos and creates a room where everyone has at least one person vouching for them. The events themselves are well-produced with real activities beyond just drinking. The limitation is obvious: you need a single friend willing to come with you, and if you're not in NYC or DC, you're out of luck. But if you are, and you've got a wingman ready, this is one of the best alternatives to swiping.